Little Pieces of Me

Why is it getting cold?

2010-10-02T08:49:00.009-04:00

Cincinnati is getting cold this weekend and it makes me sad. I want summer back. It is my favorite time of year. I love to spend time at my parents lake house with family. I can only reminisce for now until next year.

This first picture is cousin eddie. When he is older he will be exactly like cousin eddie on National Lapoon's Christmas Vacation. His nickname is Ediot. We love having him with us. He lives in Columbus so we don't get to see him that often. He is a ton of fun to be with.

This is my sis Elizabeth showing us her surfing moves

and this is the wipeout...

Our family has been known to be a little rowdy. Have you ever gone to function and there is a group known as "those people" that are annoying, and you want them to leave. Well on 4th of July we were "those people" at the fireworks. These pics are before things got out of hand.

(L to R) Kyle (Liz's boyfriend), my Tennessee brother Ric, and my brother Charles

Liz and Kyle....this is what happens when the sun starts to go down

Its always sad to see the summer end but always something to look forward to next year.

So is the year over yet?

2010-09-27T17:13:00.003-04:00

Its been a crazy year. If it could go wrong it did. I got mono in April that landed me in the hospital and sick for over a month. My dad just recently fell 11 feet and broke everything on the left side of his body. Then there was lots of other random stuff that took this year by surprise.

I was trying to think what to blog about that others would be interested in so I thought up a few things that I'll blog about over the next few months...

decorating... Josh and I moved in our new house a little over a year ago so we are still in decorating mode.

arts & crafts... I love to design and make things and I am going to get back to that. I need to make time and so that is what I'm going to do.

family... my family does some of the most random crazy things and everybody needs a good laugh.

Today I'm going to leave you with a few pictures of my crazy family...

These three are my brother Oliver mastering the flip on the wakeboard this summer!

Random Sevens

2010-01-17T13:01:00.004-05:00

My friend Ryan asked us to put up 7 random things so here it goes........
(Click on Random Sevens for a link to Ryan's Random and check out Ava one of the cutest little girls in the world)

1. 7 places I want to visit someday
-Italy (all of it)
-Australia (to hold a koala bear, and site see)
-NYC (I have been all over New York and never to the Big Apple)
-Africa (any country will do: for a mission trip and a safari)
-Brazil (I hear its incredibly beautiful and lots to do)
-Ireland (because I like England so much I think I would like Ireland too)
-Northwest USA: Oregon, Washington (I don't know why)

2. 7 favorite movies from the 80's: movies I've watched 100+ times
-Dirty Dancing
-Uncle Buck
-Adventures in Babysitting
-Troop Beverly Hills
-Back to the Future I & II (I hated III)
-Can't Buy Me Love
-Pretty in Pink

3. 7 favorite TV shows (current)
-The Office
-House
-Medium
-Desperate Housewives
-Brothers & Sisters
-Friday Night Lights
-Law & Order: SVU

4. 7 favorite shows from growing up
-Saved By the Bell
-Full House
-Facts of Life
-Charles in Charge
-The Brady Bunch (I know it was from the 70's but I watched reruns like crazy)
-The Wonder Years
-The Dukes of Hazzard

5. 7 cartoons I watched as a kid
-Smurfs
-Fraggle Rock
-Scooby Doo
-Duck Tales
-Flintstones
-Inspector Gadget
-Dennis the Menace

Enough about TV, you probably think that's all I do...

6. 7 things I want to buy but probably never will
- Mini Cooper
- 70-200 2.8 lens for my camera
- Netbook
- Pool
- Hot Tub
- lasix surgery
-

7. 7 places I love to shop
- Gap Clearance Center
- TJ Maxx/ Home Goods
- Target
- Old Navy
- Anthropologie
- Hobby Lobby
- Tuesday Mornings

True Ethical Dilemma

2010-01-16T13:40:00.000-05:00

I often come across things in my line of work that don't sit right with me or I don't agree with what a patient chooses to do with their life but it is their choice so I deal with it. This week I came across a dilemma that had me in pieces.

I have a patient that has AIDS. She is in full blown AIDS for about a year. She is currently living with a "friend" that doesn't know that she has the disease. I asked her if they were having sex. She said no and gave me a long explanation as to how they were just friends. Then I was talking to the nurse who told me she had reason to believe otherwise. So what do you do?

My first thought was this man needs to be informed. My second thought was I can't tell him because I am bound by patient confidentiality. I talked about it with supervisors at work who decided we need to find out legally what we can do. The answer is NOTHING. According to the Health Dept. STD Clinic there is not one thing we can do. If she had Syphilis we have a duty to report and someone goes out and checks on the situation and takes proper action, but with AIDS there is no governing body that says we can't do a darn thing. Why lobbyist for AIDS patients wants complete confidentiality for their patients even at the risk of someone else's.

A side bar: Did You Know: If a patient doesn't want hospital staff to know they have AIDS or HIV it can be removed as a diagnosis from their records. So hospital staff is not even properly protected, or properly treating for that matter. Now hospital staff should always take proper precautions but we all know some don't.

What it all comes down to is I know a man that has cancer and a compromised immune system and now possibly has AIDS because a woman was more concerned about how he viewed her than what was safe for everyone.

AIDS is on the rise in Cincinnati according to AVOC. We as a community need to continue to education about STD's and the effects on someone's life and eventual death in some cases. My personal dilemma is that I know she could be killing him and there is nothing I can do about it. It goes against every grain of my being, but somehow I need to reconcile it in my own mind.

So its been a long time......

2009-12-28T16:05:00.002-05:00

Its been a long time since I last blogged. Since then: Josh and I have moved into a new house and have been bogged down with house stuff. I'm going to give blogging another whirl. So here it goes............

Today's Topic: Infertility

As many of our friends know Josh and I have been trying to conceive for about 4 1/2 years now. We have done it all (well not all); but as the start of a new year begins, I always say.... is this the year? My gut says no (after 4 years its hard to think otherwise) but then you always think in the back of your head maybe it could be possible.

So far we have done: 3 inseminations (at the tune of about $350 a pop), multiple rounds of clomid (luckily that is cheap about $10-$40 bucks a try depending on how many the doctor gives you per round), probably 20+ doctors visits at $15-$30 copays depending on if its a specialist or not, classes to learn about natural family planning $30/class, and 1 surgery to clear my fallopian tubes at the tune of probably a $1000 by the time it is over. Then there is the blood test here, ultrasound there, one more medication here and there... FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF $3000+!!!!

And people say raising kids is expensive. Every time I do something else or Josh does I think.... should I give up or what could I do with this money instead. Josh could upgrade his motorcycle to whatever he wanted. I could have taken an extra vacation. We could have bought a smaller house and retired in 20 years. Who knows maybe we still will but that money is still gone and I have no baby to show for it.

At the same time... because I have no baby, Josh and I took a last minute trip to Mexico and it was wonderful. Literally last minute... I booked it on Wednesday and we left of Saturday after Thanksgiving. We have traveled to England, Costa Rica, Belize, Nashville, Indy, Chicago; Norris Lake (any weekend we want).

I have a ton of friends with kids I can borrow anytime. They are free and I can give them back and I still get to sleep through the night. Its wonderful.

So why blog on this now... because I was thinking of New Year's Resolutions and mine reads like this...

New Year's Resolution 2010
1. Get Pregnant or
2. Have fun trying.
3. Get better at Muay Thai kickboxing
4. Take another wonderful vacation

Be the Kind Stranger (if you can)

2009-02-16T22:06:00.007-05:00

In this economy its easy to be selfish and only think of yourself. I know I do. I came across a very nice couple that had it all at one time. Good jobs at P&G, driving a Lexus, owned a home; the American Dream. Now they have nothing. Literally. For example, I would often say I have no food in my house but I could probably make do for a week with what I had. When my patient said this they really meant it. As I was doing my assessment she took me into the kitchen and literally the only food they had was a jar of peanut butter (the wife hoped hers wasn't recalled) crackers and a can of coffee. I think they also had a couple apples. They are now living in a one bedroom apt, very well kept with some very fancy furnishings (from their "good ole days" that she is trying to sell to make rent) There was also Lexus parked out front, but it doesn't run. How did they get here?

My patient (the husband) was diagnosed with early Alzheimer's and the wife took a leave of absence to care for him take him to testing, specialists, the whole nine yards. His disease was progressing so fast she couldn't/ can't leave him home alone. After her twelve weeks of leave she was "let go" at her job because they were "downsizing" and obviously the husband is unable to work. So they foreclosed on the house and got the apt., then they cashed in their 401K's and took big hits but were able to pay rent for 1 year and get by. This coming month they have no income and may be evicted from the apt. They no longer have any income at all. The wife applied for social security disability for the husband back in August so when they ran out of money this month he should be getting Social Security by then. What she didn't know to do was keep following up with Social Security. She found out in December that the man a Social Security didn't input their info correctly so they have to start over with the 6 month process. What do they do for the next 4 months?

And to answer your question... No social security doesn't care if it is their fault. They are still having to start over from square one. I talked to them myself.

As a social worker I felt helpless. I can't make money appear. The wife was so organized and has applied for everything possible with no response. The county gave her $60 dollars a month ago and hasn't heard another word since. I was going to give her money out of my own pocket so she could get food but remembered she has absolutely no transportation. The lexus parked out front doesn't mean much if you literally don't have 2 nickels to get it fixed.

I was able to finish the rest of my day and then I went to Kroger after work. Took the $85 out of my purse and bought them as much as I could with it. I'm not going to say it was easy for me to do this. It wasn't. I had a lot of things I wanted to buy with that money (mostly crap I didn't need anyway), but couldn't go home to a house full of food knowing someone that only had crackers. I'm not telling you this to toot my horn but because I learned I need to be a little more giving. Especially right now. Times are hard for a lot of people. I have a lot more patients like this and I can't give to all but if I can just one its worth it. My patients wife cried in my arms for a long time. She said she never expected this type of kindness from a stranger. I can't tell you how much better I felt for doing this. I could sleep well that night. I know it won't get them far but hopefully another stranger can help them too.

What is God teaching me?

2008-12-14T18:51:00.002-05:00

Today Josh and I went to church at Lifespring. They asked Josh to help in the band so I went there too. The message was on Forgiveness. The key line that stood out to me was.... When you don't forgive you are the victim. When you forgive you are the victor. I thought about that and my life in the past week. I was playing the victim with someone breaking into my car. I was angry, upset, pissed and wanted revenge. After the service I told Josh that message was for me. I can be all of those things above but it doesn't settle anything. If the person that broke into my car felt he needed to do that then he must be desperate for something. I'm not sure what. I hope its a pink camera, 4 year old iPod, and a pretty green purse with purple flowers. Oh yeah, and $4.50. I'm sure they were disappointed not to find my credit cards and gift cards but it is what it is. I can't say that right after that message I was saying "oh I forgive them" and its done. I'm still a little angry but its not worth it. The window is already replaced, and there are a million cameras better than mine, and lots of purses that I would love to have iPods galore. I'm thankful that I am blessed to have a job that allows me to afford these items, and that I have a car to drive to bad neighborhoods to help those that have needs greater than mine. I have learned a lesson from this, and hopefully the person that did this to me doesn't have to do it to anyone else. Its not likely but I can hope.

My Sh*ty Day

2008-12-11T17:49:00.002-05:00

Today started out as a normal day. Then I had to drive to Walnut Hills/Clifton area to see a patient. All was good until I came out and saw a million pieces of glass on my seat. Someone threw a cinderblock through my window and stole my purse. Now your probably thinking....what kind of idiot leaves their purse in the car? I did because when I was driving up to the lot I thought "those two guys over there look really scetchy and should probably be in school." SO I thought leave the purse in the car and cover it up. Which I did because I had the fear of getting jumped for my purse. Well my car got jumped instead. What pisses me off..... I loved that purse, camera and the sunglasses I had in there. The joke is really on them because I only had $4.36 in the purse (they did get a cool camera). My credit cards were actually on the front seat under some papers because I forgot to put them back in my purse. They could have had $10 but I couldn't stray away from target this morning to buy some hair scrunchies and a new smaller version of a target ecofriendly bag. Which came in handy when I had to get all my paperwork out of my car to drop off at the glass place. The other crazy thing is that I had lots of gift cards and gas cards and my TomTom in the car and they didn't touch any of it. They knew they couldn't open the door or the alarm would go off (if it was the guys I think it was) because they heard me set it. SO in a nutshell......... I feel violated. It makes me feel like taking Josh and Donny's lead and get my concealed carry, or at the very least carry mase. I would have taken my purse with me if I would have had some type of protection. I would have my pretty purse and pretty camera and pretty pens that Patty made me and I could have stayed in my pretty little world thinking life was great. Instead I'm pissed. I go out and try to help people in the community and this is the thanks I get. Josh tells me not to take it personal but I can't. Nothing is safe or sacred in this world anymore. People talk about the good old days when you could leave your house unlocked and nobody would come in. What happened to that. What happened to getting a job and earning money instead of stealing. Can you tell I'm a little bitter right now? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The Cold

2008-10-27T12:36:00.002-04:00

Its officially here. The Cold. I never dreamed that I would be living with Josh's parents this long. I have no winter clothes at their house. They are all in storage. Even my winter coat. It use to be that it was January before I would wear a winter coat but with my new job I know I'll need it so much sooner. (It would have been nice to have a coat today) So I am on the hunt for a new coat. My love for shopping has prompted me to begin the search.

The cold also has lots of thoughts related around TV. You don't want to be outside in the cold. So I was thinking about all the shows I watch. There are some can't miss shows and then there are some if I'm home I'll watch.

Can't miss shows:
The Office
Desperate Housewives

Shows I like to watch:
House
How I Met your Mother
Big Bang Theory
Two and a Half Men

Then Shows I watch when I can't sleep:
CSI
Law and Order
Law and Order: SVU

I try and not get hooked on Cable television because when Josh and I move I'm sure we won't have cable again. While I'm with Josh's parents though I like to watch HGTV too. Tis' a good season to be living with his parents because there is cable. In the summer I can go without TV all together. but from Nov. to March its a staple in my day. I know I live a sad life. Especially now because I have no house to clean, meals to cook (not that I'm complaining) and no scrapbooking stuff which really depresses me. I love to scrapbook.

The Mind of a Killer

2008-10-20T16:28:00.004-04:00

I have many interactions with patients and they tell me lots of things that can freak you out. BUT..... None like this one. I met with a patient the other day that admitted to me that he was in a gang when he was younger. I didn't think much of it. I did foster care for a while and many foster children were part of gangs and that gang was their family.

What threw me off was what he admitted while he was in that gang: he killed three people. He was never caught (he made it seem like he was because he made several comments about "doing his time") and as it appeared had no remorse about the events. In fact he bragged about it. I can't describe what it felt like to sit across from a killer, one with no remorse, and one that wanted to tell you how proud he was that he was the "executioner." I can't tell anyone because I am bound by patient confidentiality. I can only report if he is going to (future and present tense) harm himself and/or others. He admits to also being part of the KKK and was also proud of this. I wanted to barf. How can one person have so much hate in their life. It was also clear that he didn't have any respect for his own person by evidence of what we were treating him for. I never once feared for my life while I was with him. His wife kept telling me "if you don't tell him to shut up he'll keep talking. He was as nice as he could be to me. If he would have never disclosed this information I would have never known. He was happy I would talk to him and that he had interaction other than his wife/caregiver. Someone new to tell his stories too.

I often talk to patients about their past and they use it as a way to talk about the good old days and how things use to be. Usually all the good things in their life: what made them most proud as a person, their greatest accomplishments. This patient is most proud to be a killer and part of the KKK. It sends shivers down my spine. Not while I was with him. While I was with him I was intrigued. Maybe it's my psychology background and the fact that "the mind" always intrigues me. I wouldn't have studied it so much if it didn't.

My husbands first comments were. I told you you need your concealed carry license. I was pretty confident that with his missing limb and medical condition that I could run faster than him. So that wasn't the issue. The issue was after the meeting digesting everything that he told me. I can't fathom what puts this in people's minds to do such a thing (and he has no diagnosis of a serious mental illness and I would concur). I don't know what makes a person so mad. What happened in his life to make him like this.

Was he abused as a child? Does he have an unseen neurological disorder? A neurologist from Georgetown University Medical Center, Jonathan Pincus says that mental illness, neuro disorders and child abuse are the three biggest things that makes a killer. He even had a chance to interview and test Ted Bundy. Not that this is the end all be all of what makes a killer by any means, but he has devoted a lot of time to the issue.

Josh would say I should know because I watch cop shows all the time. I think that is why I talked with the patient so long. So now its over and all I can do is pray for him. I don't know if he'll ever change. He did reach out to talk to me about it. It could have been to see what kind of reaction he could get from me or maybe he is starting to get a conscience. I'll never no, but I know he doesn't have much time left and he is lonely so I guess its between him and God.

Blogger Action Day: Poverty

2008-10-16T02:32:00.004-04:00

So I know I missed it by a couple of hours but I have lots of stories/interaction with poverty on a daily basis. Its interesting that I deal with people in poverty everyday but when I come home all I look at is houses for sale on the MLS and how I can find the one I like best with 3 beds 2 baths, a nice great room and kitchen, in the perfect schools, in the perfect location. So to put myself in a place of self examination I thought I would write about the last patient I met with today.

Today I met with a 62 year old woman that lives in an efficiency apt. She lost her house to medical bills (2 open heart surgeries in 8 months) and it broke her bank. Also because of her poor health condition she couldn't keep her job. (12 weeks is all FMLA will give you) Do you know what her job was most of her life? She took care of disabled children that were placed in group homes because their parents for whatever reason weren't taking care of them at home. A total selfless act (she did get paid but not much) Where was everyone to help her in her time of need? The wealthy building more wealth. Do you think a hospital that makes millions every year would help her? Would the government step in; in such a crisis. No, she had to give up her house and everything she knew that was hers and turn it into cash to give to a hospital. Then she got government assistance but not until she was homeless, without food, without a job, and only had the clothes on her back.
So in the efficiency I was sitting on her couch, looking at her bed and dresser and to my left was her kitchen that everything in it was a arms length. If I had to guess her life was in maybe 350 sq.ft. and that was home. BUT in all this she said to me... "if I couldn't lean on Jesus through this I wouldn't be talking to you right now." She had her faith and that made her rich.

I ask every patient I see "is there anything I can help you with..." which could be in reference to many things but her response was... "yeah, can you find me some art classes to take or anything where I can interact with others..I feel lonely"
So when you boil it down the ability to spend time with others and enjoy life is what everyone wants. I can do that so much easier than my patient because I have money to do activities and I have a car that can get me to church and to see my friends. She has to rely on people to take her everywhere (she lost her car too)

People don't understand that we could be my 62 year old patient tomorrow. She would have never thought she would spend the rest of her life with a rare heart problem. That she would lose everything in 8 months time. If she wanted she could hate the world; being honest: I would in her situation. All my patient wants is a "normal" life. What she knows as normal but she will likely never have that back. Heart conditions don't go away. The government doesn't hand out more money. Now I know there is a whole other debate on those that abuse the system. I meet them on a weekly basis as well.

What I taught my patient today was where she could turn to for assistance with food, and how to find handicap transportation, and different senior centers that don't charge money. What she taught me is that when all else fails your relationship with God may be the only thing that keeps you going.

The Office

2008-10-13T17:48:00.002-04:00

My favorite show....I'm so excited for the season. The first two episodes were great. Can you believe Pam and Jim are engaged. Can you believe Angela turned Oscar into the INS. What will they think of next?

Which Office Character Are You?
	You are Jim. You are personable, easy-going, and always socially aware. Your great sense of humor and impishness soften the blow of what might otherwise be a dark, cutting cynicism.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

100th Aurora Farmers Fair Parade

2008-10-06T20:27:00.005-04:00

We took our nieces to the Aurora, IN parade on Sat. I forgot what weird things they have in parades. This is a good example of that.............

AND...................

Vice Presidential Debate

2008-10-03T09:10:00.002-04:00

Well... I wasted a couple hours of my life (but at least I was doing it with friends) watching the debate last night. All I can say is......................
John McCain is a maverick
and Joe Biden likes to refer to himself in the 3rd person.
Didn't get much else out of it.

Why am I blogging?

2008-10-02T10:55:00.002-04:00

I'm blogging because all my friends are doing it! I also like journaling (although I don't do it much anymore) and I thought this would be a cool way to do just that. Once you get to know me you realize that my life is an open book. I'm one of those Italian girls that will say anything. There probably won't be any rhyme or reason to what I blog just whenever the mood strikes me.
So enjoy.